Modesty is good and battles should be chosen wisely. That was why I didn’t demand my money back from the homeless man I’d just given it to a moment before.

I’d spotted him as I pulled into the gas station, standing with a handwritten sign. I decided to give him a little something, since he claimed to be seeking shelter for him and his dog, which was laying in the grass behind its master.

After filling my tank, I rolled to where he was, which was a stop sign. He gladly took the bill I passed, we exchanged kind words, and I was ready to drive away. But there was traffic and I had to wait. He decided to spark up a conversation, beginning with a compliment to me for the sports car I was driving.

I thanked him.

“What year is it?” he asked.

I told him, which brought another remark about the color. He mentioned that his father had one with a similar paint job when he was a kid, to which I nodded. Then he made a snide remark about how that brand of vehicles were pieces of crap that broke down.

I chuckled. Traffic had let up and I drove off without a response. I mean, why should I split hairs and get wound up with someone who may not have even had a car or could have been sleeping out of one?

The truth of the matter was I worked hard for what I had, keeping up the maintenance and insurance, as well as the mortgage payments on my home. I was heading there while the man was left to bake in the sun, scrounging for spare change. It didn’t make me any better than him but I had to wonder what had prompted his unwarranted comment.

Constructive criticism is great when not spoken with venom by someone who has something to gain or lose from your success or failure. At the same time, is important to have your own constitution and personal code that does not require people stroking your ego.

Things get rugged when toxicity leaks into a relationship with a family member, friend, or lover. Build your empire and realize that not everyone is going to be excited about your triumphs and may be quick to point out downfalls as a way to express bitterness. However, be observant of what they are saying, how they are voicing it, and what their motivation is before responding, as it is always good to have someone who will tell you there’s a rip in your pants…or a booger in your nostril…

Establish yourself, remain humble and, as you set and achieve goals, realize your own worth, free of the need for compliments. ‘Nuf said.