Jeff was on a roll. Already a candid guy, he got even deeper when he sipped fine liquor over a good cigar. “If you’re constantly the smartest person in the room,” he said, taking a puff, “then you need to find yourself a new room.”

I pondered his statement, taking a draw from my pipe, and released a cloud of smoke that smelled delightfully of Irish cream. Our partners, Rob, Quick, Doc, Brad, and George gave it some thought before weighing in.

Thus went the conversation while enjoying a rather chill session on a Saturday afternoon. These brothers made up the basis of my circle–a group of fellas who were as unfiltered as were the cigars. Sometimes they could be harsh and at other times, smooth as hell, just like tobacco. It was the balance I needed.

Ever have a booger in your nose or a rip in your pants you didn’t realize you had? How many of the people with whom you socialize or work would pull you aside to tell you? How many would simply say nothing? It says a lot about the people who make up your circle.

Birds of a feather…well, you know the rest. People tend to hang out with folks with whom they share basic commonalities. That said, if you look to your left and to your right, you are more or less stack the similarities.

The problem comes when a circle becomes stale or has outlived its usefulness. I’m not saying you should get rid of old friends but you can adjust the proximity when the mission changes. For instance, the connection with old classmate may only be grounded by past experiences. Maybe the loyalty is still there but your missions have diverged. Recognize this and adjust as needed.

As of the time of this post, I am not yet a bestselling author, but I have written and published. I believe that everyone has a story to tell and, as such, some folks come to me with questions about how to write their first book. My initial word of advice is for them to align themselves with other aspiring authors–those who are on a similar mission. Many of them never take that cardinal step and, though they say they will, never get around to writing that first book, or any of the others that may have followed.

Procrastination is a bitch but misalignment can be a motherfucker.

We are each born into a family, no matter how awesome or dysfunctional it may be. However, we get to choose the friends and the members of our circle. Make sure you make wise choices while building your hu$tle.